


For Evermore

by littlehuntress



Series: Winter Knights Fics [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Guardian Angels, Angel!Merlin, Angelic Grace, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Miracles, Fallen Angels, Guardian Angels, Human!Arthur, Humanity, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-18 22:51:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13110153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlehuntress/pseuds/littlehuntress
Summary: Guardian Angel AU. Merlin promised Arthur he would stay with him on Christmas and he had every intention to follow through. Even if it meant to Fall.





	For Evermore

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was in part inspired by the movie _Wings of Desire_ and its sequel _Faraway So Close_ , and various myths about guardian angels. 
> 
> Happy holidays!

It was dark and the church's bells rung loud and melodious. To Merlin the ringing sounded like one of those holiday songs Arthur had forced him to listen and had been stuck in his head inevitably for days. 

But he wasn't there to ponder about Christmas carols or to think about Arthur. 

He waved his hand around; a ball of bright light resembling a flame appeared before him. “We’re almost there,” Merlin whispered. He looked up in time to see Morgana hovering close to the belltower, her black wings fully unfolded, the moon shining behind her gave her an eerie glow. She descended slowly, wings fluttering, as soon as her feet touched the ground the flame vibrated zooming forward to rest above her open palms. 

"Go forth, your time has come," she murmured, opening a portal in front of them. The soul—pure white light—ascended to heaven. Morgana offered a prayer for their eternal rest. 

Merlin wasn't meant to feel anger or sadness, yet, there he was, consumed by grief that wasn't his. These days he found it hard to remain on the sidelines and not engage. Humans were full of life, vibrating with it, it was daunting and terribly beautiful. Merlin wanted things he knew he wasn't supposed to have. 

"I have to go," Merlin said, his future waited somewhere else. He refrained from looking at Morgana hoping to avoid a confrontation. Her eyes were burning him nevertheless."Our job here is done." 

"Not mine, not yet," she reminded him. From then on she'd be their guide in the afterlife as he’d done it on earth. Morgana had always been a better. 

“There's nothing else for me here.” 

"We're in hallowed ground, you can't lie to me," Morgana said. Her wings fluttered menacingly before they folded behind her back and were gone from sight. “What are you thinking?” 

"I can't lie to you anywhere," he admitted. “You know what I want, Morgana. I’ve wanted it even before I knew what it truly meant.” 

Morgana gave him this piercing look he felt all the way down to his core. It was pointless to hide from her. “Oh, Merlin. You want to _Fall_.” 

He didn't deny it, didn't confirm it, just walked away and didn't look back.

“Merlin?” She called. 

Merlin stopped. “Yes?”

“One day we’ll meet again. One day he’ll be gone too.” 

“I know and I plan to be there for all of it.”

*

The city was alive with people celebrating, coming and going to parties, sharing time with friends and family. Looking down Merlin felt at peace. Every year since he’d been sent to earth he’d been a witness of both the joy and sadness the Holidays brought. Today he was rescinding that privilege. Soon, he’d be one of them.

He closed his eyes, extended his arms and began counting backwards: three, two, one—

Gravity. Sweet gravity. Pulling him down with gentle arms. 

Cold air rushed around him, he inhaled it forcing his lungs to take their first real breath. His skin prickled with cold. 

The ground was getting closer, closer and—

When he came back to he was laying on his back in the middle of the street, several strangers were staring down at him, their expressions ranging from bewildered to worried. 

“Are you alright?” A woman asked. 

Merlin blinked. His body hurt, he could taste the earlier rain on the air and he couldn't hear a single thought that didn't belong to him. It was odd looking at a human and not knowing for certain what they were thinking, if they were feeling happiness or experiencing confusion. 

Odd yet so new and wonderful. 

He laughed, bright and open garnering more perplexed looks. “I’m— fantastic,” he said. 

The man closest to him stuck out his hand and Merlin took it getting off the ground with his help. “What time is it?” 

“Half past eleven,” the man answered. 

Merlin dusted himself off as best as he could and ran off in the opposite direction of where he was. 

“Hey, maybe lay off the alcohol for the rest of the night, yeah?” Merlin heard someone call out to him, he nodded but doubted anyone could see him. He had already gone round the corner. 

He had somewhere to be.

*

Merlin absolutely despised running. He found out rather soon. He was out of breath and his chest was burning. Keeping his mouth open to breath had been a poor choice on his part.

He took advantage of a group going out of the building to slip inside. He took the stairs, two at a time, remembering Arthur's grumbling about the lift getting stuck between floors. 

By the time he was knocking frantically on the flat’s front door midnight had come. 

“I’m coming, I’m coming, hold your horses.” He heard Arthur's voice call from inside. He probably was wearing that annoyed look Merlin knew so well. 

“Merlin?” Arthur asked shocked when he laid eyes on him. Maybe it was his appearance, the messy dirty clothes, or maybe it was the simple fact he had knocked and not just materialized inside. "What happened to you?" Arthur asked. He was frowning, his hand stopped mid-air just before he could reach him. Merlin didn’t want him to hold back. "You look different... Are you _bleeding_?"

Merlin brought his hands up seeing the scrapes there. “It tends to happen when you lose your grace,” he tried to joke. The frown on Arthur's face deepened, he leaned against the door’s frame sighing. He looked stricken as if a sudden terrible thought had assaulted his mind. 

“You,” he began and took a deep breath. “You lost your grace. Why?”

“I made a promise that I intend to keep,” Merlin answered. 

Arthur swallowed visibly, his eyes had widened. “Merlin, I didn't meant— I never meant for you to Fall. All I wanted was for you to be here. In any way or form.” 

“I did it for me,” Merlin said, interrupting Arthur. “I know you joked about Christmas, and I also know you would've been fine with me hovering over your shoulder forever. But Arthur, every time you wished I could stay longer, that we could—” Merlin reached up letting his fingers stroke Arthur’s cheek, a light, barely-there touch. Arthur gasped at the contact, his hand flying up to hold Merlin's there. 

“You’re warm,” Arthur said chuckling. “Merlin, I can feel you.” 

Merlin felt his heart pounding and heard the blood rushing. He stepped closer, his free hand fisting itself on Arthur's ugly Christmas jumper— it was ironic he’d said. Merlin's eyes flew over Arthur's face, seeing the wonderment he’d felt since the first time he’d seen him. In three years Merlin learned it was a futile war trying to hide and run from something as fundamental as love. 

He had already fallen a long time ago.

“Happy Christmas,” Merlin said, pulling Arthur until their lips touched. That first brush of lips on lips would forever be seared in his mind. Arthur’s arms went around him as their mouths fussed and fitted together. 

Humans kissed all the time. They had different meanings and purposes. Kisses on the cheeks from one friend to another, a kiss on the head from mother to son, on the lips from lover to lover. Merlin thought this kiss meant _I love you_. Arthur kissed him like he never wanted to stop. Merlin didn't either.

“Can you feel me like I feel you?” Arthur asked against the skin of Merlin’s jaw, his breath warm. Merlin nodded, stole a kiss and a hundred more because he could, because Arthur wanted him too. “Is this my Christmas miracle?” 

Merlin laughed, held Arthur in his arms. 

Love was heavy and dark, but he felt weightless. The emptiness in his chest was getting filled, with every kiss Arthur made him whole. His humanity gained by the miracle of Arthur's mouth.


End file.
